Over the past year, parents have approached Mennonite Men about what we might offer for boys coming of age. Parents recognize that current activities—such as sports, clubs, and Scouts—are not the only ways to support their sons' development. As an organization and through our JoinMen committee, we are considering how we can best serve parents, leaders, and boys who are maturing into adulthood. Are there particular Anabaptist approaches that can be modeled?
From what I observe, Anabaptists are becoming increasingly aware of the value of rituals—marking time with events or ceremonies. We see ritual traditions such as bar mitzvahs or quinceañeras in particular cultural and religious contexts. Men’s rites of passage events are also gaining popularity. Could this kind of ritual become more widely practiced in a Mennonite context?
Mennonite Men wants to respond to the needs of parents with boys. This would be an invitation, not an obligation, for boys and their families. Before we move forward as an organization, our board members need time to gather information and explore possibilities.
For perspective, I spoke with Jesus Cruz, a Mennonite Men board member who serves on the JoinMen committee. I have enjoyed hearing him share about his own formative experiences as a boy coming of age in the Bronx, New York. When he was young, Jesus and his brother attended a Bible club program across the street, led by Mennonites. One day, two women from Fox Street Mennonite visited his mother to tell her about a summer camp at Camp Hebron, located many hours away. They encouraged her to let Jesus and his brother attend, and the church offered assistance to make it possible. She agreed. Jesus was 11 years old when he first attended camp. The experience profoundly shaped him, and he returned for many years, later becoming a counselor and serving at camp with his wife. He went on to become a pastor and served with Mennonite Education and other boards. Today, Jesus is a member of East Chestnut Street Mennonite Church in Lancaster, PA, where he has mentored boys through his congregation. He continues to be sought after for speaking engagements, leadership, and service.
Jesus and other board members are asking important questions about how to support boys. Jesus asks, “What are parents looking for regarding their boys? How do we help parents, mentors, or other interested community members take initiative?” He wonders if supporting boys and resourcing parents could become a new initiative of Mennonite Men and asks how the board should approach this. “We need to bring more people into the conversation, and board members should be actively involved in this discussion. What role does culture play in supporting boys coming of age? Is Mennonite Men shifting toward a greater focus on young men and boys?”
These and other questions will be explored at our upcoming in-person board retreat in late March. Additionally, Mennonite Men has submitted a workshop proposal for MennoCon 2025 to report findings from an online survey about supporting boys coming of age. We hope this proposal is approved! Regardless, be on the lookout for an online survey on our website, which we will also promote through our listserv and future issues of Engage. Responses to this survey will help Mennonite Men discern ways to support boys coming of age in Anabaptist communities, as well as to support parents, fathers, mentors, and leaders of boys.
