​Recently, I went on a walk with several men in their 30s who had attended a Mennonite Men’s retreat I helped lead in November 2024. They had arranged the meetup themselves via group text, eager to reconnect and continue building community. We walked and talked for nearly an hour, engaging in deep conversation.

I’m excited to see these men taking the initiative to foster meaningful friendships. Many younger men today lack in-person interaction, and some struggle to form friendships at all. This challenge isn’t exclusive to men—I’ve spoken with many young adults, both male and female, who find it difficult to make and sustain friendships.

These kinds of gatherings may seem surprising, given the stereotype that men avoid personal conversations. Similarly, concerns are often voiced—especially by older Mennonites—about young people disengaging from the church. While I understand their concerns, I also have questions. Are we, as a church, inviting young men into conversations that feel relevant? What topics foster connection and trust across generations?

During our walk, one participant biked slowly alongside us. As we strolled through the woods and past calming waters, we checked in on each other’s lives. The biker, who was single, shared his experiences with online dating, sparking a lively discussion. Several men spoke about their own experiences, comparing dating apps, discussing their pros and cons, and offering advice.

I admitted that I had never used online dating—a statement that made me feel like an outlier among Millennials. Still, participating in the conversation was insightful. Online dating is a reality for many Mennonite men, young and old. I even know Mennonites in their 80s who have found it helpful.

What I observed in this conversation—and in the retreat itself—is that men want connection. They want to talk, exchange ideas, and build relationships. Young men are no exception. If we long for more connection within our congregations, have we fully considered our settings, formats, and discussion topics? What feels relatable and safe to younger generations may seem unfamiliar or even intimidating to older ones, and vice versa.

By creating intentional spaces for young adults to share their experiences, we foster mutual trust, friendship, and faith formation. Perhaps we might even see greater young adult participation in Mennonite congregations. With a spirit of care and curiosity, faith communities can engage meaningfully with today’s realities—perhaps even discussing topics like online dating in small groups and sermons. In doing so, we live out our faith in ways that resonate across generations.